5 ADHD-Friendly Ways to Practice Self-Compassion

Published: October 15, 2025

Because you don’t need more willpower — you need more grace.

There was a trunk sitting in Molly’s house for years.

Inside it? Hundreds of medical records from her daughter’s birth — surgeries, hospital notes, insurance forms. Every time she looked at it, her chest tightened. So she closed the lid and told herself, “Later.”

But later never came.

That trunk became more than a storage container. It became a symbol — of avoidance, overwhelm, and the quiet shame that so many women with ADHD carry.

Because here’s the thing: ADHD brains don’t just avoid tasks. They avoid emotions attached to those tasks — the fear, grief, frustration, and guilt buried beneath the to-do list.

When Avoidance Meets Shame

When her daughter needed another round of surgeries, Molly knew she had to open that trunk. She needed to find old reports and records for the new doctors. But as soon as she thought about it, the shame spiral kicked in.

“Why can’t I just do this?”
“Everyone else would have this handled.”
“What’s wrong with me?”

Nothing was wrong with her. She was overwhelmed, exhausted, and alone.

This is how shame works in the ADHD brain. It sneaks in quietly, whispering that your struggles are personal failures instead of understandable reactions. It tells you that willpower should fix everything — when what you really need is compassion.

How Compassion Changed Everything

When Molly came to coaching, she finally had a place to bring that story — and that trunk.

As part of our Get More Done accountability group, instead of advice or judgment, she was met with empathy.
Instead of “Just start,” she heard, “What would make this feel safe enough to start?”

She would bring out one small pile of papers. during Productivity Power Hour, she brought out a small pile of papers. No pressure. No criticism. Just gentle accountability.

We held space for her emotions — the frustration, the grief, and the relief that came from being understood.

And somewhere along the way, something shifted.

She looked up one afternoon and said,

I just wanted to acknowledge the feeling of gratitude that washed over me as I walked into this room just now. A mostly clear desk and nothing on the floor.  I have come so far in just two months with your help guiding me to manage my stuff and get my sh*t together. This has been three years now of getting nowhere, til now! Finally...progress! Thank you so much. grateful

That’s the heart of self-compassion. It’s not about ignoring mistakes or lowering standards. It’s about giving yourself the same understanding you’d offer someone you love.

And it’s how ADHD women begin to heal — by replacing shame with safety, and isolation with belonging.